READ Barbarian Alien Barbarians of Zandipor #1


Barbarian Alien Barbarians of Zandipor #1

Summary Barbarian Alien Barbarians of Zandipor #1

K hereBut if you want some super silly roll your yes sometimes laugh out loud alien smut with a wise cracking heroine and a roll your yes sometimes laugh out loud alien smut with a wise cracking heroine and a massively built hot blue Tarzan like dude with special alien giftsskills in the sack and who is often referred to as a smurf of some kind by the heroine as well as dinosaurs an irritating but sometimes helpful talking robot and massive rocks falling from the sky I walk back into the village like a goddamn warrior princessWait until Turic gets a load of this He s going to shit his animal skin loincloth "Then This My Friends Is " this my friends is book for youIf you re in any way curious about the crazysauce check out my updates to see whether this particular pisode of the blue and this particular Education in a New Society episode of the blue and batty might work for you Kind of an anniversary read Last April my love for mint chocolate chip ice creamnded abruptly Thanks Rod Holder shakes fist But it was also the beginning of some treasured friendships Like most friendships these days it started with a genitally tentacled alien in need of some water Or maybe that s just me Anyways all of us were already set on this path some time before And I thought now would be a good time to briefly return to the blue side What is this blue side you might ask Well it s pretty straightforward actually Just your regular romance plot but with some Education in a New Society: Renewing the Sociology of Education especially colorful protagonistsOkay so this seems to be the way it usually goes There s a group of femalearthlings that gets abducted by some green aliens for some reason they are always green Said female arthlings are not too happy about it and a bit of a tussle nsues In all that chaos something goes wrong with the spaceship and the whole party has to land on some coveniently positioned planet where however they face some rather unwelcoming circumstances In this case here it s dinosaurs yay But that foreign world is also inhabited by very gentle blue aliens for some reason they are always blue whose tribes happen to be short on females of course One of the The Baby Swap Miracle earthlings and one of the aliens respectively get separated from the rest of their kind and slowly or actually rather uickly they get pretty close withach other But as is often the case when you meet some alien friend for the first time there s the problem of communication at first He turns and frowns as he looks down at me Ratchata hurew he saysI don t speak alien I answer with a frustrated shake of my head I speak English and about ten words of French Bonjour Avion ChaisesHe doesn t seem to understand French ither I m not surprised French is hard as shit Yep French is really pretty hard Shortly after that point in the story other things get pretty hard as well and also astonishingly big An xtended period of la copulation followsThe blue ones might not speak English or French very well but they still are xtraordinarily gifted with their tongues Add to that some uite unearthly sized andor shaped appendages and it will surely lead to several climaxes in the story Now would be the point where mint chocolate chip ice cream might come into play But here it does not And anyway for me that train has already left the station Thanks Rod Holder shakes fistWhere was I Ah right because of the female shortage on his planet the blue guy would love nothing than to impregnate his precious arthling with his precious and potentially very tasty seed This now this is where the relationship might come to be seriously tested But then again they know ach other for days already so usually it is smooth sailingObviously now the blue guy wants to introduce his mate to his tribe But remember no females there So of course this leads to a bit of a scramble But big surprise here in this particular book it doesn t happen at all for the reasons I thought it would In fact Turic s tribe finds Avery not very desirable And they are also kinda rude in xpressing their distaste for her But Turic Excommunication: Three Inquiries in Media and Mediation ever the gentleman vigorously defends her pride Avery may not be a Sandroka Turic says defending me But she is female She has a culip A beautiful culip that drips with sweetness and smells like the divine Cheecho herself Turic drank her sweet nectar all of last night and this morningJesus Turic I whisper TMI D aww Such a sweetheart But yeah Avery is right This review also contains a little too much information already So nothing about the storyThis book was funnier than Ice Planet Barbarians but not necessarily better During my first visit to the blue side I saw two characters that made for a pretty sweet couple In spite of one of them having fangs and horns and a tail But do some minor anatomical differences like these really matter that much True love comes on the inside right Turic by the way is much human like What he has in common with Vektal is his blue skin huge cock and skilled tongue But I liked Vektal and Georgie better together They also had of the nookie which is pretty important for a book like this This An alien planetAnd that'sxactly where I amThe flowers are as big as cars the bugs as big as dogs and there's no Holiday Inn in sightOh and did I forget to mentionthere are freaking dinosaurs hereI would hav. .
Ere of course has dinosaurs and uite some humorous bits Though if you want to read something funny that also has some humanalien r relations in it I Though if you want to read something funny that also has some humanalien r relations in it I still recommend Rod Holder s Water For Alien Were Dinos Unless you love mint chocolate chip ice cream and would really much rather have it stay that way So I accidentally managed to start rereading this after downloading on kindle unlimited again and as I gave it a second go through and appreciated this so much this second time around so I am upping my rating slightlyWith a three year gap between maybe I m just attuned to EMBRACING ALL THAT IS WEIRD AND all that is weird and And This Certainly Has That In Absolute Spades No ContestSo this certainly has that in absolute spades no contestSo recap Avery and her friend are kidnapped from a movie theatre or cinema if your British like me by aliens and not liking their current fate manage to hijack the spacecraft and with the assistance of an onboard robot Tom land it on the planet ZandiporHere they get chased by a vicious scary T Rex fall into a dangerous raging river and get separated from Generations and Collective Memory each otherAvery is then rescued from her dire fate by a massive brawny and blue alien native wannabe smurf called TuricSo this was a really funny one that doesn t take itself to seriously it was all very tongue in cheek almost slapstick at times and a whole lot of funThe Blue aliens are not the brightest bunch and that includes TuricBut though he may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer he wasxtremely sweet ven when he was over sharing also very nthusiastic to one and all From Notes to Narrative especially when discovering Avery s Culip and his heart was definitely in the right placeThis was surprisinglynjoyable but silly and definitely non seriousReviewed By Beckie Bookwormhttpswwwfacebookcombeckiebookwormwwwbeckiebookwormcom Actual rating 35 starsI liked this story because it made me laugh a lot This is a very light short adorably goofy romance It is like having a small chocolate treat Avery has a great positive silly attitude and Turic is a babylike lovable mega buff loyal warrior Part of what attracted me to this book is how similar it is to Ruby Dixon s Ice Planet Barbarians books which I really Guitar Makers: The Endurance of Artisanal Values in North America enjoy I can t wait to keep reading this series Oh man This book was awesome Well if you like blue alien heroes that is And while I might ve thought they weren t really my thingthey absolutely are There were so many laugh out loud moments The heroine is just real as in what your best friend is probably like if not yourself Her outlook and inner monologue were hilarious because they werexactly what I would think Then you ve got that big hulking blue alien Turic who is all he mancaveman with an immediately Mine mentality and yeah I was completely blissed outThanks to my Goodreads friend Erika for recommending this book to me I ll be digging further into this crazy new world that s for sureRead via Kindle UnlimitedDual POVSafe view spoilerno owom drama h is not a virgin hide spoiler Who wants a huge muscular blue alien with a massive dick and a vibrating pelvis If only Thanks to Umaiya for telling me that this book is funny I love funny and sarcastic characters and books and this one delivered big time I knew the author was one of my girls when I read her little note before the book began To James CameronHit me up if you want to make this into a movieThere is one conditionI get to play Avery and I want Chris Hemsworth to play TuricI m ready to start filming the love scenes whenever you are Yeah I like herOkay so if you were ver a fan of Ruby Dixon s books Ice Planet Barbarians you need this in your life So freaking funny and smutty It s smutlariousAvery gets abducted by aliens and nds up on a planet with dinosaurs and blue hunks Luckily they need women which we know from fiction is a very big problem in other galaxies women shortages She hooks up with Turic the mighty Turic talks about himself in the third person something that I would normally find very douchey but somehow he makes it adorableAnd you re adorable too Elmo You can get away with third person talking tooSheesh he s such a sensitive bitchTuric takes Avery back to his camp of horny smurf dudes and things get ugly pretty fast Apparently in this village Papa Smurf is a giant asshole and wants to kill Avery Now I don t want to spoil but shockingly his murderous plans may not succeed Maybe Like I said I don t want to spoil You will just have to read it yourself to find out if our heroine dies at the hands of Asshole Papa SmurfSee Total doucheTuric is sweet cute and has no inhibitions at all He has a tendency to over share He has no idea what TMI means Once they get to the village he turns into this guyAvery is super normal funny and sarcastic She kept me laughing the whole time This book was hilarious And very dirty Don t Hard Bread (Phoenix Poets (Paper)) expect amazing literature justxpect to be ntertained I m totally reading verything lse I can find by this author now She gets me. E been their lunch if it wasn't for Turic my blue alien saviorHe's no Sven but he has other ways to please meAnd this muscular alien with the heavenly tongue is making this harsh alien planet feel like home . ,

Never thought I d say this but I am in love with ablue alien saviorblue chris in LOVE with aBlue Alien SaviorBlue Chris xtra from the but I am in LOVE with aBlue Alien SaviorBlue Chris HemsworthThe Foraging for Survival extra from the of AvatarA Sexy BlueberryThe Me Tarzan HeroBlue RamboSuper SmurfSexy SmurfSteamy SmurfThoughtful SmurfBlue BerserkerI mean The Mighty Turic withight YES Eight perfectly symmetrical shreddedlarge ab muscles Really don t have to think too hard about this one I loved itSexy Smurf George of the Jungle Avatar like man in Jurassic Park it s a thing and I want Basically Woman gets kidnapped by alien spaceship while at the movies with Best Friend Woman is told by a cheap tin like robot that she has been selected to become the love slave for breeding purposes to a mantis like creature before being beheaded and impregnated with his larvae nice Woman along with other females takes over spaceship and crashes onto a nearby planet On said nearby planet woman #is rescued by Sexy Blue RamboSmurf named Turic And Fragments etctc tc Can t give too much away but you #rescued by Sexy Blue RamboSmurf named Turic And tc tc tc Can t give too much away but you a tramp stamp and apartment key to look forward to Avery Turic sighI freaking loved them They are the perfect Me Tarzan You Jane couple And Avery our h OMG Kim Fox Juno Wells you know how to write a heroine who can make a reader pee her pants from laughter I had to bust out the DependsDon t judge me She can write some funny H%T Boogalooga moo I answer back with a nod Goobaloober woober I told you I don t speak fucking alien You misunderstand me I say my voice racing You see in my planet Goobaloober woober is the highest compliment there is It means that you look like a sexy blueberry We finally get there and he points to a cave Cheecha pourten No I say shaking my head I said Holiday Inn I spoke to a nice guy named Greg on the phone He upgraded me to an xecutive suite for free There are so many LOL moments to look forward to I hope you take a chance and give this one a try It was fabulous Thank you Umaiya for another fantastic recommendation Keep on sending them my way Overall Rating 5 Sexy Smurf STARSPrice is Right view spoiler YES 100 on hide spoiler OhMyGodHilarious doesn t ven begin to cover how funny this book wasTotal fluff but it s the best piece of fluff I have ver read Not ven kiddingAn One Ticket To Texas entire separate star for the funnyI wanted to share why I was rolling on the floor laughing with my sister and before I knew it I d read 4 chapters aloudThis has never happened before xDI mean damn If all books by Kim Fox are this funny she is soon gonna become an auto buy author I discovered this by chance NOT thanks to my friends Jilly and Umaiya Yes I know Jilly that Umaiya loves you But I m sooooo happy to have read thisI don t know why people were staring at meThis book is HILARIOUS If you re having a bad day you MUST read this one it would do wonders for your moodThere re abduction by praying mantis aliens for breeding purposes tin can stupid robots dinosaurs huge blue alien hunks Smurfs TMI You ll not believe anything but you ll laugh your head offThere re smexy times but they were hilarious tooAt thend I was laughing until tears were rolling down my cheeks 3 12 stars Now I know how Smurfette must have felt being the only female in a village full of horny blue males So much of this tale is just ridiculousMind you that s totally intentional and hey it s hilarious at points too I have a feeling that Turic would be a famous porn star if he Helpmate ever decided to move toarth I guess it s all about whether you re willing and able to go along with this particular brand of silly and smutty and Ms Fox Art, Culture, and Cuisine: Ancient and Medieval Gastronomy eventually brought me over to her version of the blue side Turic drank of her sweet nectar all of last night and this morningAllyes are on me wondering what my culip looks like I tap Turic on the back Can we not talk about my culip in front of the whole village pleaseBut he just goes on And my cheeks get redder I ve actually been to the blue side before with the Ice Planet Barbarians series In fact I felt that Barbarian really was a kind of parody of those books which is pretty funny for its own reasons I mean for starters IPB is often referred to as Planet Blueballs amongst its readers She s the Saku Destroyer of Dinosaurs and Slayer of Monsters So anyways if you re looking for something serious Where you ll suspend all disbelief She opens her massive jaws and lets out a sueaking roar that has my heart pumping like a fcking jackhammer on steroids I swallow as I look around for a weapon A rock A stick AnythingIf I m going to die I m going to die fightingBecause that s how we do stuff on planet arthThere s nothing but dirt and rocks that I could possibly lift up around me so I stuff my hands in my pockets hoping for a miracle Maybe a rocket launcherThe key to my tiny apartmentIt s all I have I must have left my rocket launcher in my other shortsI slide the key between my fingers and hold up my fists hoping that maybe the T Rex will die of laughter For the love of Jebus don t loo. I went camping onceTwo hours later I was checked into a Holiday Inn lying on a table and getting massaged by a muscular Swedish man named SvenIf I can't survive on a campground how can I survive by myself on. .